I have just read a brilliant "must read" post by Julie R. Neidlinger on why she walked out of a church she attended as she seeks a new church in a new area (hat tip to Stu). It is brilliant! One part of it reminded me of a conversation we had at a recent Family Forum at our church about how we can be hospitable to the many new people coming to our church. Do we organise or roster someone(s) to "be nice to the new people" (as if being nice to new people is a ministry!) and plug them into some group, or do we just actually try being Christians and be welcoming to new people like we would a visitor who came to our house? (We went for the latter and not the former)
1:03 PM
What she is looking to do is very appealing but I think it would be quite difficult to do. I wonder about the alternatives she would come up with for the issue she had with youth group/children's church. I agree that we can dig ourselves a hole but if there's a kid who actually can't relate to or listen to a sermon type thing, there's not much else for them and you'll find them (instead of her and her like minded group) walking out.
Also in the comments section she wrote something that annoyed me:
"I did not claim to speak for ALL churchgoers. This is important to remember, that this is not a blanket post: I am speaking for people like me who are disgusted by certain consumerist, shallow aspects of our culture, and are very troubled that the church has decided to drag them in and use them. That is the person I am speaking for. I believe there is some confusion that I'm saying this applies to everyone, and some believers are put off since they like the larger churches with all the accessories."
Surely there is a reason that she is disgusted with the aspects listed. Those reasons apply to everyone, not just the people that likewise find it disgusting.
Oh and she's pretty darn bitter about the whole Christian male thing, huh. In fact, I find it really difficult to read anything she writes due to it having such a harsh tone.
Other than that, I think it brings up a lot of good issues. I especially liked the 'It won't work' section.
3:48 PM
"Oh and she's pretty darn bitter about the whole Christian male thing...In fact, I find it really difficult to read anything she writes due to it having such a harsh tone."
How much of my writing have you read?
"difficult to read anything she writes" sounds like you've read a lot but I'm willing to be that isn't the case. I think you'll find, on many of my blogs (for there are many on my site), nothing of the sort you describe here.
I think you've made a rather harsh judgment yourself.
I do note that with great regularity the people who had the most problem with my take on Christian males were...Christian males. Women often identified. This doesn't make the assessment I wrote true (or not true), but it does mean there's a general feeling/understanding of that from women that is not returned by men in the Christian realm, and that in itself is a problem worth delving into.
For what it's worth.
I do discuss further the idea of age segregation here. I've already addressed the complaint leveled at me by Christian men calling me bitter here.
4:27 PM
Hey Julie, thanks for replying.
True, I haven't read much. About 5 or so posts. Maybe it's just coincidence but about 4 of them seemed unnecessarily harsh. I guess it's a matter of opinion, though.
With regard to the Christian male thing - I guess you are always going to get resistance when you make rather sweeping, generalised statements. Your comment to my own generalisation serves to back that up.
"...but it does mean there's a general feeling/understanding of that from women that is not returned by men in the Christian realm, and that in itself is a problem worth delving into."
So the supposed feeling that women have that young Christian males need to 'grow up' is not returned by men? I'm not surprised. Firstly there is a need to define what 'grown up' means. And secondly, you need to explain why males must be so ready to change for female wants and needs and not the other way around.
The bitter comment was not meant to be taken too seriously. It was not meant to detract from anything you said, only to show that I didn't particularly agree with that part of the post. Put that down to me being male if you want :P
I had read your follow up post to age segregation. It felt to me like you miss the point that youth ministries are put in place to do more than ensure that young males never grow up. I can only assume that one of those reasons is that your hometown style church wasn't working for some youth and they were walking away. I think that if that was the case, and they do anything to stop that happening, then all power to them. In saying all that, I definitely agree that the church needs to do more to remove the evident barriers between age groups.
Again, thanks for replying and keeping the discussion alive.