THE WITTENBURG DOOR
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Andrew
The Wittenburg Door is a Christian satire magazine published by youth workers. I love it! It's hilarious and very provokative. Below is an article from their latest issue. The article's called "Jesus was a Homeless Bum". It's available on line at their web site.
By Wendy Noble
May/June 2007
Hi Sis.
Something awful happened in Bible Study yesterday. We were looking at a passage from Luke [9:57-62]. People said they wanted to follow Jesus but they all had reasons why they couldn't do it right then. I think Ali Robinson, our Study Leader, was hoping to inspire us to deeper levels of commitment. I was sitting next to her and I saw where she'd written that across the top of her page. It was underlined three times. As per usual, we went round the group sharing our first response to the passage, and that's when all heck broke out. I said I'd never realized before that Jesus was a homeless bum. Well, it says it right there in the scripture, Sis! "Foxes have holes... but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Thelma shouted, "Ali, where do y'all keep the soap? I want to wash her mouth out!" Jeannie Baker put her fingers in her ears and kept moaning, "Blasphemy! Blasphemy!" I tell you, the place erupted. With everyone talking at once, it was hard to hear what was said, but I heard some "in all my born days" and a couple of "never heard such a thing." What hurt was the "she." You know you're in big trouble when they stop using your name and take up with the acid pronoun! When this had gone on for quite a while and Ali still hadn't wrenched back control, I went home. I didn't think anyone had noticed me leave. Ruth Davis, Earl's wife, telephoned this morning. She said she was thinking about me and wanted to say she didn't think I was a heretic. I was so grateful I cried some more. I told her that I was sorry I didn't have the chance to explain, because then I'm sure no one would have said it was blasphemy. You see, Sis, I'd never really thought about that before. It hadn't occurred to me that there was a time when Jesus didn't have anywhere to sleep. I'd never imagined Him sleeping outside, shivering in a park somewhere, living under a bridge. You know? No wonder He really loved Mary, Martha and Lazarus. They welcomed him into their home. When He talked about giving someone a cup of cold water in His name, He knew what it was like to be thirsty and not be able to get a drink from His kitchen. I tell you, Sis, it got me thinking. There were all those people making excuses why they couldn't follow Jesus and He'd already given up everything for them. He gave up His home in heaven and then He gave up His home on earth and they were making excuses. I can't imagine what it would be like not to have a home. What's more, I told Ruth that I had a new appreciation of what Earl did for those homeless men in the park on Friday night. I'm thinking of offering to go with him, next week, if Jim says it's OK. [When I told him all about it last night, he laughed and said the idea of me being a heretic was a hoot. Helpful as always!] You know, I've always been afraid of those men. Now, when I picture them in my mind, I can see Jesus standing there with them, holding His hands over the fire. It changes everything. Ruth said she understood what I was saying. She also said I shouldn't worry about going back to the Study next week as the ladies will have settled down by then. But she thinks I should apologize for using the word "bum" in relation to the Lord even though, technically, it's correct. She says I won't be kicked out of Grace Community. But, I haven't had a visit from the pastor, yet, so would you pray for me just in case?
Love to the kids.
Nelda
By Wendy Noble
May/June 2007
Hi Sis.
Something awful happened in Bible Study yesterday. We were looking at a passage from Luke [9:57-62]. People said they wanted to follow Jesus but they all had reasons why they couldn't do it right then. I think Ali Robinson, our Study Leader, was hoping to inspire us to deeper levels of commitment. I was sitting next to her and I saw where she'd written that across the top of her page. It was underlined three times. As per usual, we went round the group sharing our first response to the passage, and that's when all heck broke out. I said I'd never realized before that Jesus was a homeless bum. Well, it says it right there in the scripture, Sis! "Foxes have holes... but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Thelma shouted, "Ali, where do y'all keep the soap? I want to wash her mouth out!" Jeannie Baker put her fingers in her ears and kept moaning, "Blasphemy! Blasphemy!" I tell you, the place erupted. With everyone talking at once, it was hard to hear what was said, but I heard some "in all my born days" and a couple of "never heard such a thing." What hurt was the "she." You know you're in big trouble when they stop using your name and take up with the acid pronoun! When this had gone on for quite a while and Ali still hadn't wrenched back control, I went home. I didn't think anyone had noticed me leave. Ruth Davis, Earl's wife, telephoned this morning. She said she was thinking about me and wanted to say she didn't think I was a heretic. I was so grateful I cried some more. I told her that I was sorry I didn't have the chance to explain, because then I'm sure no one would have said it was blasphemy. You see, Sis, I'd never really thought about that before. It hadn't occurred to me that there was a time when Jesus didn't have anywhere to sleep. I'd never imagined Him sleeping outside, shivering in a park somewhere, living under a bridge. You know? No wonder He really loved Mary, Martha and Lazarus. They welcomed him into their home. When He talked about giving someone a cup of cold water in His name, He knew what it was like to be thirsty and not be able to get a drink from His kitchen. I tell you, Sis, it got me thinking. There were all those people making excuses why they couldn't follow Jesus and He'd already given up everything for them. He gave up His home in heaven and then He gave up His home on earth and they were making excuses. I can't imagine what it would be like not to have a home. What's more, I told Ruth that I had a new appreciation of what Earl did for those homeless men in the park on Friday night. I'm thinking of offering to go with him, next week, if Jim says it's OK. [When I told him all about it last night, he laughed and said the idea of me being a heretic was a hoot. Helpful as always!] You know, I've always been afraid of those men. Now, when I picture them in my mind, I can see Jesus standing there with them, holding His hands over the fire. It changes everything. Ruth said she understood what I was saying. She also said I shouldn't worry about going back to the Study next week as the ladies will have settled down by then. But she thinks I should apologize for using the word "bum" in relation to the Lord even though, technically, it's correct. She says I won't be kicked out of Grace Community. But, I haven't had a visit from the pastor, yet, so would you pray for me just in case?
Love to the kids.
Nelda